Top 5 Celebrity Rants


Written by Rebecca Griffith
15 Thursday 15th July 2010

Due to the breaking news that Mel Gibson has reportedly been recorded in a racist and generally offensive tirade against his estranged Russian girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, Don’t Panic have decided to jump on the bandwagon and name our top 5 celebrity rants.  

Mel Gibson, July 28 2006
Of course the number one spot has to go to good old Mel, and yet again it is his inherent racism that is to blame. Arrested on suspicion of DUI after being caught speeding down the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, California, Gibson made anti-Semitic slurs against the Jewish arresting officer, James Mee, “Fucking Jews...the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.” Why he thought this would be a good idea we’ll never know. The fact that he was already in hot water for his recently released ‘anti-Jewish epic’ Passion of the Christ would surely have been an incentive to keep his Jew-hating thoughts to himself?
Alec Baldwin, April 11 2007
Our number two spot goes to paternal bully, Alec Baldwin for the telephone rant to his 11 year-old daughter, Ireland. On the recording Baldwin can be heard saying,
“You are a rude, thoughtless little pig.”
“You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being,” (apparently upset that she did not answer her phone for a planned call).
“I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old, or 11 years old, or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone.”
Apparently this recording was leaked by Baldwin’s estranged wife, Kim Basinger, in the wake of their messy custody battle. After the rant was made public Baldwin admitted that he contemplated suicide… maybe then we would have been spared the geriatric nudity of It’s Complicated.
Christian Bale, April 4, 2009
Christian Bale’s rant at a crewmember on the set of Terminator Salvation has been rumoured to have been a publicity stunt. This is the man who on the release of The Dark Knight was arrested on suspicion of assaulting his own mother in a hotel room – the film then went on to become one of the highest grossing films of all-time. The sheer brilliance of his rant also casts doubt over its authenticity – it was so brilliant that little-known musician DJ RevoLucian made a pumping dance tune out of it. Here are our personal highlights from the Welsh actor’s apparent meltdown:
“Do I walk fucking walk around the… NO! Do not shut me up, Bruce! Do I walk… No! NO!”
“Why the fuck are you walking right through? AH-DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH like this?”
“Do you want me to go and trash your lights? DO YOU WANT ME TO GO AND TRASH ‘EM?”
“You’re a nice guy. YOU’RE A NICE GUY! But that don’t fucking cut it.”
“I don’t need any fucking walking. He needs to stop walking. I AIN’T THE ONE WALKING!
Two words: PURE. GENIUS.
Kanye West, September 2, 2005
During a televised benefit concert for Hurricane Katrina which he was presenting with Mike Myers, Kanye decided to deviate from the script and whilst Myers valiantly tried to carry on, Kanye suddenly declares “George Bush doesn’t care about black people”. At this point telethon producer, Rick Kaplan turned off the microphone and cut away to Chris Tucker who appeared to have absolutely no idea what was going on. The sheer ignorant nature of Kanye’s angry outburst coupled with Mike Myers’ blatant ignoring of the rapper make this outburst absolute comedy gold.
Mike Tyson, October 5, 2007
In October 2007, Mike Tyson, in a threat against his future opponent Lennox Lewis, declared that he wanted to “eat Lewis’s heart and children” before conversely shouting “pray Allah”. This juxtaposition of piety and cannibalism just shows the effect repeated blows to the head can have. The rant itself sees Tyson break into an incoherent rap about his status as ‘the Greatest’… yes indeed Mike, you are.


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  • Guest: secretphotographer
    Thu 15 - Jul - 2010, 11:16
    That Kanye West rant was hysterical - what an utter moron. I met him once, he's tiny. He was interested in a sculpture we were selling but he wouldn't talk to me or even look at me. His PA/Art Buyer had to do the talking even though he was standing next to me. Everytime I answered her questions I spoke directly to him to make him feel like a w@nker. Secret Photographer