Top 5 Inappropriate Kids


Written by Jonasz Tolopilo
30 Sunday 30th May 2010

1. Smoking

This kid smokes presumeably more than you, even though he's only two years old. He smokes cigarettes as it was a lollipop and looks ridiculous. His parents say that he cries when they don't give him fags and proudly admit that he's addicted. Thank God mine were slighly more responsible.

2. Bodybuilding

Adult bodybuilding contest are always fun. When a five year old kid is doing it, it's even better. He shows off his muscles like a pro. Too bad he doesn't have any. His preening makes him look like a pedophile’s wet dream. The music in the video makes the whole thing even more hilarious. I'm just wondering if this kid actually won the contest.

3. Preaching

I just don't get it. Who gave that Jerry Falwell a microphone?

4. Historical Revisionism

Seriously, did the BNP pay this girl to vocalize their theory about World War 2? It seems so, as it's just random mumbling about Germans and silly Egyptians “dying from the sun”. Hope that's not the way we'll remember World War 2 in a few decades.

5. Beauty Pageants

If you want your daughter to be constantly undergoing psychiatric evaluation throughout her adult life, you must enrol her in child beauty pageants. Go to America, teach her some sexy moves, apply tons of make-up on her face and make her wear the sluttiest, most barbie-resembling outfit that you can imagine and here we go – at the age of five she can be sure that there's nothing more important in the world than being the most beautiful slut, ekhm, child in the state.

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