Weirdest Royal Memorabilia


Written by Charlie Cole
27 Sunday 27th May 2012

Knit Your Own Royal Wedding

Knitting has once again become rather de rigeur, so what better way to combine two classic British loves than with this knit your own royal wedding pack. William and Kate have never looked cuter than in their miniature woollen form, and the Queen has been dressed in an Angela Kelly outfit, just as she was at the real event. Topping off the incredibly quirky knitting set are the two golden corgis, Monty and Willow, because the royal family just wouldn’t be the same without the iconic pups.

Jubilee Chess Set

Studio Anne Carlton, the quintessentially British chess design company, have been commissioned by the residents of Buckingham Palace to craft this incredibly intricate set in celebration of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. Every piece is marked with the queen’s cipher, and will be displayed as a part of the official Jubilee souvenir collection. As adorable and oddly life like as these pawns are, the £199 price tag means this piece of fan-history will stay firmly locked in the display cabinet.


Royal Corgi Stuffed Toy

The royal corgi is a symbol of all that is good and sweet in the world. Queen liz is never far from hers, and why would she be? They’re loyal, fluffy, and would never sleep with someone below their station. Get your own royal canine companionship with this caped and crowned stuffed toy. The royal purple is a very classy touch, and despite the sad look in his eyes, I like to think that this regal hound is a little bundle of happiness.

Royal Family Pop-Up Book

Some moments can only be captured through the medium of pop-up. Depicting Charles and Diana's family life, from the day of the wedding, through the birth of Prince William, and ending in what looks like a scene from Out of Africa (apparently meant to be their honeymoon to Australia), this book is a rather idyllic portrayal of one of the most temperamental relationships in royal history. 

Princess Diana Memorial Doll

Diana inspired fashion trends across the globe and became an immediate style icon, so it’s only natural that her beauty and innate sense of grace would be replicated in a series of memorial dolls. This one however looks nothing like the princess and is actually rather ugly. I’m sure the intention was there though. A for effort, F for execution. 

Jubilee Ma’amite

We all love Marmite. Even the Queen loves marmite. And as Marmite proved with this Jubilee limited edition pot, if you don’t like Marmite then you’re just not patriotic enough. The aptly named Ma’amite pot is full of classic marmitey goodness, with the slightest hint of British pride in the aftertaste. With a wonderfully kitsch facade, this spread is worth getting for display purposes only.

The Kate and Wills Toilet Cover

Had enough of Kate and Wills memorabilia? No! Neither have we! Add a touch of class and refinement to your humble abode with this royal couple toilet seat cover. With the smiling faces of Britain's bright future staring up at you from the toilet bowl, you will never need worry about the sophistication level of your décor ever again. The Joneses will never be able to keep up with this.

Kiss Me Kate Ale

I severely doubt that The Duchess of Cambridge would ever drink ale, especially one with a trashy pink label, but regardless of her own tastes, Kiss Me Kate Ale has gone into mass production. Nottingham brewery Castle Rock originally planned to brew a small batch of novelty Kiss-Me-Kate for the niche market, but instead sparked a media frenzy leading to over 120,000 pints of the ale being ordered. Now considered a limited edition item, bottles can cost upward of £15.

Charles and Diana Slippers

An absolute winner in the tasteless memorabilia stakes has to be these limited edition Charles and Diana slippers. Neither of the caricatures look anything like the couple did back in the day, and I’m fairly sure The People’s Princess would take great offence at the size of her nose in this portrayal, but the slippers do make for some brilliant merchandise for true royal enthusiasts.

Royal Wedding Tea Bags

Tea is undoubtedly the greatest of British institutions, but this time the Germans dipped into the market with these novelty royal wedding tea bags. The brilliantly labelled KaTea & William teabags feature the couple in their wedding outfits, with the slogan it all started with a cup of tea written across the bottom of the packet. I actually think it probably started when he saw her in that fashion show wearing not much more than a bra and skirt, but for the sake of the Queen we’ll say it all happened over a cup of Earl Grey.

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  • Guest: martasantos00
    Mon 18 - Jun - 2012, 16:51
    ...and the best / worst of all