07 Friday 07th August 2015
Last night saw the Republican presidential candidates debate for the first time. Unsurprisingly, the occasion was dominated by toupee'd ruptured sewage pipe Donald Trump, who shouted loudly about bad Mexicans. Reports suggest the chair of the debate was happy with the distance between her and the famous TV host, as it prevented his acrid spittle melting her suit jacket.
Meanwhile Hillary Clinton, who had previously said she'd avoid the spectacle, was hanging out with America's favourite power couple, Kanye and Kim!!!
What does this mean?
Well obviously it proves that if you still don't like Kim and Kanye, then you don't like Hillary, meaning you're tacitly supporting Donald Trump's bid for the world's most powerful position. So thanks to all those people. I hope you're happy when he's building a golf course over your town and hanging this portrait in your living room:
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