So if you are ever in the presence of a Tinder Date, pray for obscene and ridiculous exchanges as opposed to nice pleasantries and the start of a beautiful relationship. After all, if you enjoy reading awkward screengrabs from Tinder Nightmares, why wouldn't you want to eavesdrop on an actual Tinder date?

That's exactly what Carrie Mantha decided to do in a Manhattan bar the other night, when she was seated on the table next to a 40-year-old 'trust fund baby' and an 'inexplicably into him' girl. While some may argue that discussing politics, travel and the second amendment are all perfectly viable date topics, what ensued just shows you have to be careful who to swipe right to, as there are a lot of twats out there.

Sitting next to the most obnoxious Tinder couple ever. Dude is a 40-something trust fund baby, girl seems normal but inexplicably into him

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Dude: "So I said 'I don't have time to wait; I have a biz to run.'" Girl: "What biz is that?" Dude: "the business of enjoying my life"

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Dude just casually admitted it's his 3rd Tinder date OF THE DAY. Girl seems strangely amused, couple on the other side hilariously appalled

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Oh God, he just said "Theoretically I should be providing for my daughter, but really my parents do that." Girl looks slightly confused

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Apparently his 3-Tinder record today is marred with an * because he saw the girl come in, decided she wasn't as cute as her pic & snuck out

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

It's really hard to believe this guy made it this far without anyone snatching him up. What a catch.

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

He's giving a rundown on what was wrong with prior Tinder dates. One girl was from Alabama and just wanted to watch FB all day (the horror!)

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

"And this one girl ate AN ENTIRE DESSERT before the date was over AND asked for a bite of mine." (Sadly, I am now officially not his type)

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

"I don't JUST fly around being a socialite, I also run a fund. I'm a serious investor." I assumed all serious investors were also socialites

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Girl: "When did you become an investor?" Dude: "I've basically always been one" Girl: "What do you invest in? Dude: "Whatever I want"

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

You guys, HE'S SWIPING THROUGH TINDER WHILE SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM. I think he might actually be an addict. Appears to be all right-swipes.

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Dude: "You like fighter planes? I know a lot about fighter planes" Girl: "Were you in the military?" Dude: "No I just like fighter planes"

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Tinder dude just loudly referred to Obama as "the Trojan horse of Islam." Impressively synchronized choking-on-drink by couple next to him

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Girl: "Have you been to Africa?" Dude: "I used to go on safari with my family, but that's how you get ebola - eating lion brains & stuff."

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Tinder Dude: "I lead a really healthy lifestyle. I take a lot of naps and smoke a lot of weed." And, he's totally free from Ebola to boot.

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Oh yes. He's considering having someone build an app. Wait for it...Uber for dog walkers. Tweet me if you want in on the round. No cap, obvi

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

"I've never done any drugs that aren't socially acceptable. I mean, I did snowcaps back in the day but whatever." Snowcaps?

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Dude complaining that his brother is trustee of his mom's estate & won't release her money. "It's family money, it's not like it's hers" Wow

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

"Everyone knows I'm the best investor in the family. Two of my brothers already spent their entire inheritance." #lowbar

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

This guy is like the Ron Burgundy of trust fund babies.

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

"I only have guns because all these derelicts out there have guns. And because they're fun." He is packing in the topics for a 1st date...

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Oh lord... "Do you have any like old samurai swords that have been in your family for centuries?" (Girl is Asian) #cringing

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

"I have a huge wine collection if you want to see it. I hardly show it to any of my Tinder dates." #whitestthingsyoucansay

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

We're back on foreign policy... "These ISIS guys are already in the city. They're driving cabs everywhere." #hideyourkidshideyourwife

— Carrie Mantha (@CarrieMantha) November 12, 2014

Date appears to be ending unceremoniously kids, but good news: I've talked the bartender into alerting me when Mr. Tinder comes in next.