WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT... ORGONITE

What You Don't Know About... Orgonite
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WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT... ORGONITE



Written by James Read
01 Friday 01st May 2009

 

Friederike and George Ritschl

The good folk from Orgonise Africa (including Friederike and George Ritschl, right) had travelled from around the world to the Mozambique dam to throw orgonite into the water supply. The government claim they were attempting to poison people or destroy the dam. If convicted, the suspects face two to eight years inside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wilhelm Reich

 

So what is this substance and where has it come from? In 1940 Dr Wilhelm Reich (left) discovered that orgone energy is all around us, and responsible for everything from gravity to sexuality. He later set about proving the fact. He even secured a private audience with Einstein, who conducted his own tests confirming the observable effects of orgone (though one of his assistants later convinced him otherwise). Meanwhile, Reich had built a number of 'orgone accumulators' to gather up this mystical "primordial cosmic energy" and focus it on healing patients and changing the weather. The Food and Drug Administration began an investigation of him, ostentatiously because of his past communist connections and liberal attitudes to sex (published in his papers on psychoanalysis), which culminated in his death in jail. But really they were worried that his discoveries would destroy the burgeoning pharmaceutical industry. Oh yes!

 

 

 

Anyway, the secret has been kept from you for too long. By now you are surely wondering where you can buy this magical wonder. Luckily it's easy to make at home (though plenty of kind folk on eBay are happy to save you the trouble) - you just need to mix up some aluminium shavings and quartz crystals in a bit of resin.

Kate Bush - Cloudbusting

So why don't more people know about this incredible substance? Because the Illuminati don't want you to know about it! So alternative means of dissemination are necessary. Kate Bush has done her bit with the song Cloudbusting (with Donald Sutherland playing Wilhelm Reich in the vid), and William S Burroughs wrote extensively on how orgonite helped him get off junk, as did his friend Jack Kerouac.

The 'CloudBuster' - yours for just £230

But what if you're not a renowned and influential figure in pop culture? Well, for you there is the Orgonite Gifting Movement - a network of missionaries (like Orgonise Africa) who hide bits of orgonite around mobile phone towers in order to protect people from mind control. One website reports nearly 15,000 sales (value - £25,000) in the UK as of last February, so maybe you're already protected (phew)!

Orgone generator

Luckily the Orgonise Africa online shop has managed to remain open for business throughout this travesty, so the crucial mission can continue. Far more worthwhile than donating to some AIDs relief charity, organising the world is by far the best way to solve all our problems (although bizarrely they include a disclaimer stating that they "make no claims regarding any medicinal or healing properties of any of the tools we offer"). Odd...

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Comments

  • Guest: shiningmagos
    Sun 19 - May - 2013, 10:01
    "make no claims regarding any medicinal or healing properties of any of the tools we offer" Making claims like that violates laws. Even though duct tape fights warts, and prune juice is a well-known way to relieve constipation, neither of the products are permitted to make these (verifiable) claims about their effectiveness. Also... I hate it when people say "because of the Illuminati, of course!" Who cares about the Great and Powerful Oz? Look at the men behind the curtain!!