Facebook Places


13 Monday 13th September 2010

I hate privacy. I wish everyone I've ever met and a few I haven't knew exactly where I was in the world every minute of every day, through some sort of technology using satellites or something. 

If this is the way you think, you're going to love Facebook's new burst of 'genius': Facebook Places. If you've ever heard of Foursquare, Places can easily be described as a slightly worse, more annoying version of that little gem. If you haven't, come on a journey of wonder and confusion.
First step to becoming a part of this exciting new network is to get out your trusty iPhone or crackberry. What, you don't have one? I thought everyone did? Well if you don't have one you don't deserve to be a part of something so innovative and shiny. Leave.
Anyway, for us normal iPhone users, it's very very simple. First, move to America, as it's only available to US residents at the present time. Second, make sure you have the absolute latest version of iPhone software. Yes, I know they update it every day, but you've got to keep up with technology in today's fast paced society.
Now that you have iPhone software version, go to your facebook app (the most recent version of course), and Places should just pop up. Tap 'Check in', choose where you are from a list of nearby places, and then all your friends can see just how much spare time you have.
One of the main points of Facebook Places is that you can see which of your (iPhone using, latest technology, can be bothered with the app) friends are in the same places as you. This is to tackle all those annoying conversations you have every so often:
Liveoff Miparents: Oh I was at this fantastic haberdashery just off the King's road on Sunday, I must take you there some time you would have loved it.
IchangedmynametoonewordbydeedpollbecauseImsooutthere: Hmm? Yeah I know the one you mean, I was there Sunday too.
Liveoff Miparents: Oh no, we should have met up for some Vegan tea, if only I'd known you were there.
How many times has this happened to you? Countless, I'm sure. Bloody annoying, right? Well now you can completely avoid that by checking in to wherever you are on your trusty Facebook Places App.
How did we live without this?
Facebook's next plan: Implant us all with a tracking chip under our skin while we sleep.

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