Japan's Best Invention, Ever


Written by Aisha Nozari
30 Tuesday 30th July 2013

One of Japan’s most prestigious universities has developed a bunch of new lunchroom seats called ‘bocchi seki’, which translates to ‘alone seats’. Yes, they are totally as good as they sound. What we have here are basically dining tables with 50 – centimeter divides in-between each seat, meaning you never have to eat your lunch next to anyone ever again.

Asahi News reports that the process of thought behind the whole development goes as follows: students are busy and eating in front of people is not enjoyable. How perfect is that?

The tables are also a hit with the students of Kyoto University, getting the nod of approval for their convenience. One 22 year old student commented, ‘When I don’t have much time or I’m in a hurry, the lonely seats are convenient.’ Another even went as far as to ‘fess up ‘if you are sitting at a big table by yourself it’s like you don’t have any friends and that’s embarrassing.’ Do you know what’s even more embarrassing? When you actually don’t have any friends and you spend every morning of your university life dreading 1pm because that’s the part of the day where you have to drag your lonely ass into the canteen, order food and then spend at least ten minutes pretending to scour the room for your buddies as that 12p piece of shit soup you just bought melts some skin off your hand bones and you know your pals definitely aren’t there because they definitely don’t exist, then you have to do a sort of weird shrug thing that’s all like ‘meh, maybe they aren’t here yet’ while everyone stares at you like ‘oh come on, give it up bitch’ and you’re forced to retreat to a very wide, very open table where you are then surrounded by a colossal amount of assholes having fun and cracking jokes with all their friends and stuff.

And even if you are a weirdo who actually HAS friends, who ever wants to sit next to someone while they eat? No one. There is no single thing worse than people eating. It’s pretty much humanity at its lowest point. There is literally nothing I want more in this world than the privacy to shovel things into my face and not have to worry about people getting grossed out by my abominable eating habits.

So yeah, I’m really down with this, Japan.

Here's that butter stick I was talking about:

And here I am demonstrating some cute eating skillz:

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