Pledge music


08 Friday 08th October 2010
We all know artists sell out. It's an inescapable way of life, like plucking your eyebrows. It used to be one of only three ways: become the face of a household product, become the face of a snack or make a porno. Long gone are those humble days. The musicians of today are thinking of new and imaginative ways to make money in today's world of free downloads and pirating. is a platform for those artists who need a little extra funding to keep their career going. Artists make a profile, start a project, and hope people like them enough to pay to have a chat. A project will usually be to fund something specific, like the production of an album or whatnot. If you click on an artist's project you will find a little bio explaining everything, and on the right hand side you will see the vast range of ways you can give them money (and what you get in return).
For example, solo artist Brooke Parrott is trying to raise enough money to release her second album. So far she's had 21 pledges and raised 38% of what she needs. The pledges start with a modest $10, where you will be sent the album once it's released. For an extra $5 you will be sent an advanced copy, and for another $5 you will be sent an advanced signed copy. It goes on until you reach the bottom, where you can get a five day trip to London (from the US) for two and are put on the guestlist for her London show. All it costs is $8,500. I'm thinking of pledging that myself.
Who remembers Charlie Simpson? He was that gorilla from Busted whose eyebrows controlled him instead of the other way around. Vague recollection? Here's a tough one, who knew he was in a new band called Fightstar? Not only is it one of the worst named bands in history, they are also keen members. For a dear £2000 Fightstar will give you a private gig in your living room. I know you're all going to try your hardest, but if you can't quite scrape together that much spare cash you can go to their place for a gig rehearsal for a (still vastly over-priced) sum of £55.
Funeral for a Friend will let you watch a rehearsal followed by “pizza and a chat” for £125, and Ms Dynamite's little brother Akala will play five-a-side fottball with you and your mates for £24.
Having found out about this, we decided to put together a price list for some other artists we thought would be interested in this website:
Michael Jackson: Moonwalk lesson on my grave. Light-up floor squares provided. Rhinestone gloves aren't though. £10,000.
George Michael (now inmate A8365AW): Chat over gourmet 6pm dinner in cafeteria C, £100.
Post incarceration, share a celebratory spliff on my roof. I am not liable if you fall off. £150.
Conjugal visit, amount to be discussed on your arrival but you will be paid generously.
Jedward: Cut off some of our hair to keep in a locket around your neck, £1.99. £3.50 if you take a lock from both twins.
Punch us in the face, free, people do it anyway.
Katy Perry: Take a picture up my skirt, £50. £100 if my fiancee's not allowed to punch you when you do it.

Robbie Williams: Talk to me. Please someone talk to me.

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  • Guest: jakem-c
    Sun 10 - Oct - 2010, 11:04
    You call these artists sell outs, yet you also say these pledges are used to fund musical projects. Surely that is entirely a counterintuitive conclusion, since it seems these artists are doing this for their fans and their art with as much integrity as possible. Also Fightstar are a famous band, don't be pretentious and pretend you haven't heard of them.
  • Guest: kissthis
    Fri 08 - Oct - 2010, 18:27
    "Who remembers Charlie Simpson? ...Here's a tough one, who knew he was in a new band called Fightstar?" Uhh, I did? And like, loads of other people? People who don't even like them? Including me? And I'm not even a journalist? Hmmm?