Sex and Zen 3D


Written by Onjuli Datta
23 Monday 23rd August 2010

3D has been making huge progress for the last year or two. It pretty much saved the film industry. It’s heading for the small-screen. It even broke into the indie niche. So the next step for this technology shouldn’t be that much of a surprised – but it kind of is anyway. 3D pornography. Yes.

The idea has originated in Hong Kong, where producers are hoping to revive the porn industry. It’s been essentially ripped apart by the world of amateur internet exposure, and director Christopher Sun seems to think that this is the best way to hit back. The film’s a $3million dollar epic and it’s about some young guy in some vague historical era who meets some people, or something. The plotline is probably not going to be the most important part.
"Somehow when you're doing a 3-D movie you always want to make an impressive image because the viewers ... are going to buy tickets with double or even triple the ticket price to get into a world they've never seen before," says Sun. “It’s not just erotica, they want some ‘wow factor’!” Of course, because why else would anyone watch porn, except for the wow factor?
Better yet, 3-D Sex & Zen: Extreme Ecstasy isn’t the only one of its kind. Tinto Brass has a dream to shoot a raunchy 3-D version of his 1979 classic Caligula, which has a little do to with a Roman Emperor and a lot to do with, well, you know. And Hustler, porn powerhouse for the people, has apparently been trying its hand at a three-dimensional remake of those sexy blue humanoids in Avatar. Rejoice.
Hopefully this will be the sort of hit Sun is looking for. Even if the idea of sweating it out in a cinema with a bunch of other ‘film fans’ doesn’t float your boat, how could you resist the temptations of interactive porn? Where certain things actually fly out of the screen? Where you really can pretend you’re there? Eh?
If it doesn’t take off, that might signify the need for a more drastic change within the industry. Maybe a bigger carrot – ahem – needs to be offered. 3D is maybe one step closer to the goal, but it’s only with full-blown virtual reality porn that you’re going to get anywhere. Or possibly robots. And yeah, there’s probably already been a couple of films about just that (The Sex Life of Robots, anybody?) but we still shouldn’t be discouraged from making this a reality. Chase the dream, people! There’s hope for your creepy industry yet!
Alternatively, you could just do away with all this confusing tech stuff and log onto chatroulette with your dick out. Sometimes simplest is best.


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    Wed 01 - Sep - 2010, 20:17